THE almightly shoe

2007-11-30T22:52:00.000-08:00

yesterday, we were at the gig at youth park, in which daniel's band, Autumn Alantic, was playing. though there were several instances where i thought the situation was kinda funny, with yaozhong the uncle in such heavy music event, siian the stressed working class seeking to relive some stress, and sheryl the working class who became even more stress, and well mama looked fine. i think that the music sounded nice and that it probably would have sounded clearer if they didn't turn the volume of the bass to the highest, i felt that the guitars sounded quite nice, just that it was a tad overwhelmed by the bass and drums. also, because the music was that loud, when i came out i felt like i had gone through several degrees on the ritcher scale, trembled by the vibrations.... kinda of very dizzy, yaozhong had the i-hear-a-ringing-sound-in-my-ear reaction, sheryl looked super relief to be out, and i can't really fathom what was on siian and mama's mind. so yupps, after that we went to harbour front to find huishan who is currently working there. and her uniform is HAHAHA kind of funny, people who knows her should go and check it out. she looks like a full time auntie. but i admire her and the others who are working this vacation, because i could have never been able to survive all those. and i doubt anyone will want to hire me. so that's the routine for yesterday, and oh, later siian is giong for his new zealand trip in like less than 12 hours. i soooo envy him man, horse-riding!!! haiz, my parents will never bring me and my sis to such adventure places, so i have to depend on myself in the future.

now for the me in a emotional disposition.

i really think i am falling into an abyss.
driven by the force of my unroutined life, the helplessness of waiting for results, and my escapism problem.

i bought i-weekly on last wednesday, and so i did this test on how much do i tend to escape away from problems, my result was, 90%. it is quite true, i have to admit.

my body is degenerating also. slowly, the warning into the once red-alarm signal that happened not long ago. once again, i am escaping.

i don't know how much people know me, if you do, do tell me of your impression towards me. but the very fact remains that, i myself don't know myself much, i am escaping from my escapism problem.

many a times, i wish my life was a video, i can pause, rewind, forward, or even delete it all together. it will be much simpler, if not, do turn me into a robot with no emotions. though i will never feel happiness, it means i will not feel pain, and i won't have the desire to feel happiness. i am not emo-ing again, it is a plain fact. to be able to manevour one's own life, to have ultimate control, and let one live their life to the fullest, is a privilege, not a gift to everyone.

i don't know if i am the emo-shuxuan who puts on a cheerful face, or the happy-shuxuan with sentiment.

2007-11-26T03:15:00.000-08:00

Birkenstocks

You are a pair of Birkenstocks. You are a laidback
hippie, and are concerned with the environment. You are free-spirited,
and the comfort of these shoes suits your personality.

Go to Love Quiz Test to do more Quizzes!

that's what they say, but i really do love birkenstocks... :D

2007-11-24T18:21:00.000-08:00

it has really been long since i am a camp participant, and not part of the organising team.
gosh, i love red camp vikings.

okay, i must say that red camp didn't seem interesting at all to me. like totally, i joined only because to accompany daphne in the camp and then felice joined in too. then, when we had a talk from ngee ann, enna and huishan joined. so it was the trip of the five of us down to ngee ann. it was supposed to be six, with yaozhong, but he pangseh us to go china to see pretty girls...

i was all out to destroy my image on the first day of the camp man. if any of the juniors saw me, they will be like O.O so on that day, we were the kids, together with daphne. two ponytails, mini sling bag, sports bag, bermudas. lol. okay, so we arrived there, and everything, saw some people that we didn't really feel like see-ing. eww. daphne was like the first one to get influenced by the atmosphere and started became high. then, eventually, me and flea. but mama and huishan were just like acting cool la. act like they dunno us. oh and very fast, mama attracted guys liao. super qiang. mother liao, still so got mei li. then, it was the touring around, we did our own customised flashing badge ( which didn't didn't get to take in the end -_-!!! ) it was lunch arh, i think. that ignited our passion for food the nxt three days onwards. it was KFC, and our sub tribe leader davis came to sit with us, the big nanhua group of girls. then, subsequently, shasha ( its a guy. okay la he's called jonathan) and daniel and fedora came to sit down together too. they we were closest to these four SLs la, more of shasha and fedora i think. so in the first day, we just went around the places la. oh and got the aerospace hub thingy, supser super super fun man, it like having your own daytona machine in school and me and flea were like in the plane, when i realised you really have to be very tall to be able to steer a plane, if not you will just crash the minute you fly. but, i wasn't that hyped up yet.

second day, we all agreed to appear in black, seems like more than half the campers appeared in black as well. then we went around the schools, it was the life science thing first i think. then, they taught us how to differentiate between male and female fishes, seems that it mostly differs in the duct. so, because i was scared to take out the fish by hand, i went into different positions just to see the duct. i saw the male one, but not the female one. it just refuses to flash her butt at me... nvm. =D then we went ahead to the other places. then, it was the business school one which huishan wanted to see very much and even allowed herself to cancel her own interview, after the tour in the business school then she left. okay la, but i felt that it was really that useful in a way. oh by the time, ben, another SL, got to know us and almost couldn't stand our childish behaviour. haha and we just kept on asking if there were like food right our lunch, and stuff and just kept on teasing him, lol, but he's a real funny guy. i decorated his card, okay not considered decorate la, but yea with talks about sushi and ice-cream... lol. but mine wasn't the overdone one. it was daphne decorating shasha's card... babelicious girlfriend shasha ... OMG. and its a guy somemore... pink construction paper.. woah i almost fainted when i saw it. anyway, back to the second day, so after huishan left, i think we went back to the convention centre, they had some annoucements and lucky draws for the early birds and everything, and then we started the mass dance practice... okay i can only say daphne knows how great i danced. and i was high already.

the third day was for daphne as we visited the school of humanities, early childhood, psychology and mass comm. learnt how to attract kids' attention with puppets, draw pandas with a chinese brush, do social work while earning money, operate simply a studio camera .. etc. so so so much fun. after that we went for lunch, had breeks cafe food, did a mini catwalk, and for me after all that, i slept, on huishan's shoulders... after everything, we went to the convention centre for the big group more fun... haha. Vikings won the wildest group, haha and we're horny. but i supposed for everyone, the real fun was the zouk-out thingy, i mean its so obvious many ppl put in lots of time in dressing themselves up. then there was this girl, who wore like she was going to a retro party, balloon dress with big hairband and heels, lol. oh and black stockings, which ran. like oomg. hai, but she didn't look like the kind who dances hip hop. whatever. oh and after that siian joined us when we were going on a trip to the ngee ann library brought byy the SLs under our request, cause we had a whole one hour with no activity. i can only say the library was like super cool, too bad they didn't show soccer when i was there. yes, they have like a showing room just for these sports matches. super cool lor. and many more. and then when it was almost time for zouk-out, i saw many unfamiliar faces who gatecrashed like siian. i saw simin, and even one of the my last time tuition friend... all gatecrashers. it wasn't a frustrating statement but its a fact you see. then, after the drums we came out just because it was sooo boring inside. then, we did some games and eventually went back when the DJ came on. so yea, me and flea were like dancing and dancing, like siao like that. even daphne and enna also got high and joined in the crazy fenzy, and huishan was like the slowest to hype up. but she did, eventually, and it was totally cute.... did i mention siian??? he was one person who made my specs drop man, hiphop music dancing and getting high was okay, but the gay dancing with eugene... i went O.O lol, pity i cant prove it to the other ppl. haiz, he totally lost his image in front of us, but he say he doesn't mind losing his image infront of us. we are of no harm to his reputation anyway.... and then after everything, we all went home with a high note...

*sighs*

i want to really thank every SL we knew, because they made it so fun for us. thank you to shasha ( jonathan ), fedora, davis, daniel, benjamin, terrence, eugenie, junlong ( long-ge ), elias and to the other SLs whom i went "YATA!" ... and many more.... thanks you. :)

2007-11-17T05:46:00.000-08:00

okay... the previous entry was sentimental purely due to a sentimental cause...
i normally don't process thoughts like that in my mind..

haiz. recently i just realized that in my 15+, going on to be my 16th year anniversary on earth, so many things happened. and i am also already worrying much. worried who i will like, worried who i will marry, worried if i get a job, worried if i will face the scary events in life, how scary the future beholds...

oh and i was watching Goong S: Prince Hours, it reminded me of something, something which struck me as it struck the female lead: being able to only admire one from the back is really very painful.

i shall not elaborate on the above sentence.

things aren't going as well as i thought, there were many things in which i thought which i would have completed the minute i finished my O's, but to my horror, have not. i wanted to do

swimming
running
ear-candling
cut hair
dye hair
learn jap
watch many many many dramas
catch up with all my different groups of my friends
lead a decadent lifestyle
and many more...

well, i wouldn't say i have achieved none, but it is of course in my belief, to the very least. for example, i haven't done the first six, i must say i am at least advancing on my dramas ( i am so into Galileo's Fukuyama... ) and i have only caught up much with only my study grp ppl. well, decadent lifestyle i wouldn't say because i have to be eating to eat well, have to be sleeping to sleep much.... and well, yeah, i just hope i will have progress the next time i blog again...

life really isn't perfect.....

my painful farewell....

2007-11-12T06:22:00.000-08:00

for some reason, i teared up at the last part of the song Graduation when 933 played on earlier.
for some reason, my heart was wrenching.
for some reason, i'm scared...

On 12th Nov 2007, i finished what i came to do primarily in NanHua, but what truly made me was the people, not the exam. I came in with a resentful heart "Why am i here and not Swiss?", but at this day there is no regret left, i could have made great friends at Swiss, but God did not shortchange me and gave me NanHua. In Nanhua, i met some of the best people up till now in my life, and will never forget...

6th January 2004, i entered the unfamiliar school gate, in my bob hairstyle, overlengthed skirt and buttoned up white ironed shirt. I looked for the familiar faces, simin and huiyu. They brought me around the school, accompanied me to buy my first food in NanHua, fried mee hoon. ( and i am still in love with it now! ) Yet both of them were not in the same class as me, i was in 107. The class was new to me, different faces and people, but eventually some of them emerged out as important in my life, Daphne, Lynette, Miss Ong.... and also a turning point in my life, i joined Council.

2nd January 2005, i continued my days in 207, this year was better and more fun and most of us became closer and closer.

2nd January 2006, 310. With 27 guys and 10 girls only, i seriously wondered if i will survive there. But of course with Daphne around, my days were never boring. Also, including Elaine, Constance and June whom i became closer to. Thanks, my recess pals.... I was never really close with the guys tho, but they were like the pillar of the class, spreading the spirit, 310 Anacondas~~~

2nd January 2007, the 310 Anacondas evolved into the 410 Anacondas. More jokes, incidents and talks about my class.
I'm always sort of the quieter one in class, not much talk... At the end of the two years, i will say i have never regretted that i was in 410 together with eric, and never will.

My one and only CCA in my life was choir, and is choir.
Choir, brought me many tears and smiles, made me learn a lot of things and witness many events. I will forever remember that period of time where everyone stuck together practice, for SYF 2007. How much tears we shed, confessions we had, time we shared, and hearts that were linked. The encouragements, the concerns, that fighting spirit, that when we lost faith, that when we stood back up again, that moment just beofre the stage... and the tears after SYF, the regret that we still failed to make a legacy inspite of all the blood and sweat mixed. I may looked like it was all so easy, like i didnt put in as much effort as huishan and cheryl, but i love you guys just as well. I hope the present choir now realizes that and not just the EXCO members, it is never easy to build something, o don't let it crash just like that. My Choir, the singing people, the people who loves to sing.

Lastly, the MOST IMPORTANT GROUP..... COUNCIL!!!!!
I just cannot express how much i love my council... you guys were the people who made it all possible. All the numerous projects we did, planned, all the leadership camps we went, all the mornings gossiping..... It was the best time of my life. Council was just like a batch of friends, it was just so possible to talk to and mix with anyone in the council and of course i have made of my bestest friends in council.... i will always remember council, because it was something that made me truly happy in whatever i did. It could range from just staying back to do some posters, cleaning up the council room, be involved in serious events ( yet we could always still find fun in it! ) planning, briefing.... and of course the annual OC, they were so so so good memories. And like an unnforgettable quote by siian, "It's just one big group and one person." I can't believe when this year ends, i will not be able to take part in those anymore. :( i am going to so miss council, there is just so much that i want to say..... emotions i know not how to express.

Huishan~ always there in choir and council, you know how much i love you.... my laopo that i dont want to let go.... :)
Felice~ i cant believe how much we click, i wont miss you, cause i will hold onto you forever.... ;)
Daphne~ I Love You tooo!!! Thanks for the 4 years too!!! i really hope we will continue on, even after you become a nanny.... :D
Huiyu~ 7 years le, what a nice number. although i hope the number will grow larger but still our roads are different. hmmm, dont worry i will always be back with you to visit zls... and oh you could find some new guy as your chem partner in tuition now!!! haha~~~
Elaine~ really thanks for all the times, the pianist and SI, you taught me loads!!!!
June~ must always smile smile smile okay!!!
Kahswee~ hey twin, thanks for always bringing laughter and smiles to me, even though we are going to be separated soon, we still have our telepathy right? ;D
Yaozhong~ ahjussi, 10 years later i hope to see a colourful gynae.... ;)
Siian~ lol, you were always so serious... but its good that you are loosening up aleady... thanks for all the coaches in maths, in council, and general knowledge!!!
En-nick~ Thanks for being my parents ( who doesn't give allowances ), i really like your a lot!!! :D
John~ you were really a very nice friend, i dont consider you as a junior since you are like only 3 months younger. haha, buck up! you confirm can do a super much better job than the head in my batch....
Kuan Lian~ thanks for loving the seniors so much, i love you juniors just as much too!!! dont worry, i will always come back and see you one lar, not so half-hearted... if not you ask me come out lor :)
Sheryl~ tho i dont know you for long, but it was enough to see how funny and nice you are... you have my bestest blessings... oh and dun be elmo and anti-social....

thanks to many many many more who made who i am today, and i will continue to be strong to face whatever is ahead, no matter how reluctant i am, i must face the song. for the moment, before i head off to end my year in Korea, i shall dedicate my time all with you guys!!!!

2007-10-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

well, really. please do not question about the odd moments i choose to type my entry.
i really do not know.

i dun study when i am suppose to.
i dun sleep when i am suppose to.
i dun eat when i am suppose to.
i dun do the things i am suppose to.

i will be meeting the whole lot in like 8 hours later, for the usual activity.
studying.

i am beginning to doubt if there really is much use about me writing notes for ss
since there seems to be like endless.
and my a maths and physics are in dire straits.
i will not grumble, because i have to be thankful.
i am even not trying to console myself that i am not the cushion for the ppl in nanhua.
which means last, supporting everyone else up.
so ya, that was what i used to do.

now occasionally between work and sometimes going home,
there's this sense of helplessness in me.
those are the times when i really feel like hecking care.
all this glorified encouragements, are just but glorified.
how much in my work can they help me in?

out of numerous people whom i have asked, only daph said i do look like i am a tindged stressed,
do i look too optimistic, or too unbothered about the rest of my life.
i mentioned that i am stressed because nobody seems to think i AM stressed.
siian said 'then you are stressed about the wrong thing.'

eric and kali brought pens today, as an farewell present in view of the O's.
how apt.
i exchanged the blue now with daphne since she only uses blue and me, black.
then, i went to test the ink, and realised pilot was SOOO much better, so i went to changed with eric again.

i was at my class forum, when i saw all the lame jokes, the 4D no., and even chinese posts.
i especially liked the quotes part, some were really awww.
i wonder, how would it be like if i post ome of my entries in chinese sometimes.
inetresting, cause i figured how many less ppl would stop reading my blog.

oh and people, who actually knows this site, and reads it, pls tag.
so i know there are humans reading.
but, its wouldn't be such a bad idea if the aliens were to start deciphering my entry, only to realise its a full page loaded with crap and grumbles.
opps, okay i shan't grumble.

lastly, i would like to say.
i still dun like huishan, cause i am STILL denied entry.
bahh, wadever, she is the one closing the doors on me. i am helpless.

2007-09-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

i'm officially demented.
i am sitting in the computer room, looking like i haven't been out of my house for five years.
i just finished The Devil Wears Prada one plus hour ago.
i am aimlessly browsing through videos and doing nothing.
i last ate at an estimation of 13 hours ago.
i last studied at an estimation of ... eons ago.
it is now 4:30 am.
i haven't sleep for Lord knows how much hours.
and, i still don't feel like sleeping.

i think i am getting into the lunatic part, but just not one who is madly in her studies.

woah.

2007-09-28T06:16:00.000-07:00

i just realised that i actually don't have the habit of replying tags.
i suppose its kind of a bad habit. but thanks to all those who tagged or/and gave me encouragement and stuff. yeah.

its kind of getting more and more depressing. really.
there's this part of me which is just super nonchalant about everything and is slacking.
there's also a part of me which tells me, 'at least study something.'

so i have kinda gotten a split personality i suppose.

and due to the exams, my health is on a declining slope, not that it was fantastic before, but.
its just something more than the eyebags and sleepiness. and its bothering me.

i won't be blogging till Os finish, probably by then i blog to tease at huishan who should be fretting what to wear to a prom three days later. and some other stuff i dunno.

i won't say i am mugging like a lunatic now, but i am trying to be one now.

2007-09-23T03:21:00.000-07:00

well the last time i blogged was the day just before prelims, now is three days after prelims.
friday, after the talk, i went home to sleep.
sat, sleep and dramas.
sun (today), sleep, eat, take neoprints, play at arcade, now neopets, later drama.
so in conclusion: today was more exciting. bleahs.

hmmm i shall over skip the part about how i overate for today's breakfast. but i always do, so it not really much of a surprise. i was at the arcade with huiyu just now. when we passed by the neoprint machine, i suggested to take one, since after my confirmation was only a mere 5 bucks. but after the experience, we learnt that yi fen qian, yi fen huo. so true. partially was because we didn't undertsand Jap, partially, its the machine's fault. then, we went on to many more, and i realised that i am a complete failure at those sit-down-and-play kind of street fighter games. well, supposingly it was both our first time, but huiyu just went on and on beating me and the machine's player for SIX whole rounds. is that luck or what. i don't know. there was also this spot the diffrence game thing that we played, well i believe its the game which is most worth its value and is a very engaging game for ages of all. then, something i totally did not expect... while we were short of one more difference left, an unindetified hand reached over and pressed the last difference. i was like totally stunned for two seconds. scary. it was this guy i think i saw when we were playing the street fighter game, i sort of smiled at him awkwardly and we ( me, huiyu and the guy) continued on. many a times , he sort of like saved us from losing, a very pro person. and so we ( me, huiyu and the guy) juat carried on and on getting more and more desperate about the game, well, i dunno about the guy, cause i was back facing him, i supposed he was too. cause when we finally lost to the game due to the neligience of us not spotting the dog without a nose, his hand totally went 'splat' on his face, looking unbelievable. well, that was according to huiyu. i didn't see it. according to huiyu, the guy also looks cute, has a cute hair, but erm bad dressing sense, and totally unfitted bag. but all in all, he was kinda cool. so hey, thanks! ( if he ever sees this post..... bleahs) and the whole time i thought he was standing behind cause he wanted to play, but when we left, he left. weird. but all in all, it was fun, the being scammed neoprint incident, and the guy incident.

at least i had fun today, before i start to mug all over again tomorrow.
iwonder how often will i blog? oh, and huishan put her blog on private again, so i cannot see. *sobs*

that should be all... buck up sec fours! ( i wun say jia you, cause i'm fat enough)

2007-09-08T22:32:00.000-07:00

today i was at Changi Airport at 7am.
that was when my dad realised that he had only 8 minutes left to get into the waiting hall,
thus we did not have the nice farewell breakfast together.
me and my sis then went to the hall where you can see planes take off
and i found a person who had been staying overnight and miraculously didn't get found.
we saw another interesting scene.
there was this mum who put a "lease" on her little daughter, around 4 years of age.
it was incredibly... CUTE.
too bad, i couldn't take a picture, thanks to my sis who have been yakking about saying how it is illegal to take pictures like that.
well i suppose in the very near future, there will be a person who will go on about legal practices and saying what is actually right or wrong, though i seriously doubt she is studying anyway.
then, the health part will come from my mum, how we should maintain a healthy lifestyle by the intake of nutrients and how much we should exercise.
me and my dad, well, we will be the rebels who normally does not listen to them.

i guess i am a mixture of the second child and youngest. (long story, don't even ask.)
so, i have the trait of being under constant pressure from the eldest child being so academically inclined from the second child, and the inability to make good decisions in my life from the youngest child part.
its all such a confusion.

i think me huishan and flea are the typical birds of the same feather flock together.
in the pathetic 16 years of life, we have not found a person whom we really like. though, i am seriously doubting about me on that part.
its quite ironic for us to be situated in a sea of lovebirds, lovesicks and lovelorns.
its ALL love.
the exam period must seem to have an effect on couples, suddenly its just more and more couples everywhere.
GOSH.

sometime ago, thomas said something that made me want to reconsider my career direction once again.
though it sounds quite harsh on me, it is a unreputable fact.
i might just seriously end up as a sad accountant or clerk or something common.
there just seems to have none, that i would actually grow to love.
or maybe one, but its kinda hard to achieve.
get a rich husband or that i wouldn't need to work.
but i figured out that once i get a rich husband i would still want to work.
and getting rich husband is the kind of life for cheryl, for huishan and constance.
imagine me strutting around in designer bags and shoes, hahahaha. hilarious.

i seriously considered wanting to be an air stewardess, but that would be back to where i started.
though it consists of all components of my dream job, flying around. and also there would be one major problem. i am far far away from reaching its height requirement. sighs.

oh, and tomorrow's prelims. haha. oh wow. sighs.

2007-09-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

sometimes i don't know what i am doing.
prelims is like in 3 pathetic days and i bet i will be worse off than flea, who has been hibernating the whole week.
all i want to do is to have a happy lunch tomorrow with lai lai and the others. have a good chat, forget everything that is impending.
eric should have his ai xin vitimins c tablets delivered to our houses.
one week without it, and i'm like this, wasted a full day at home being sick.
WOW.
ever since i got the FIRST LOVE song by UTADA HIKARU from my darling, its has been playing non-stop on my computer.

mummy's going to finish her exams by sunday.
yet, daddy's leaving for shanghai for 3 weeks for work on sunday.
WOW.
i decided i shall go send daddy off, in the wee hours of the morning.
but that really depends on my discipline to wake up and get myself to the airport so early, i mean afterwards i will be taking the first train back from changi to chua chu kang. haha.
i can sleep on the train then.
but then, i will realise its only like less than 24 hours left to my first major paper, then i will start sighing and mull along the whole trip back.
so, in truth i won't sleep.
how ironic.

its 40 min to 8/9/07. and i am going to sleep, my mum's has been already at the computer room door twice, third time, i'm a goner.

so, yup, that the end of my grumbling for the day.

2007-09-04T09:05:00.000-07:00

i feel weird.... i am typing this with my right hand only....
something is wrong with my left today, to people who actually know me....

my left hand is covered by my blanket, if my mum sees my hand, she'll start fussing all over. and to think i'm meeting my doctor tomorrow. what an irony...

huishan's not good. haven't been in touch with flea, she seems tired from the last time i talked to her on the phone. apart from the three hectic days, life's been back to he normal steady flow, mugging real hard, at least i believe so. but i feel i could have done better, best if i seem like a lunatic buried in books the whole time muttering weird science nouns...hair messy and the constant growling from the stomach. but i wouldn't achieve that, its virtually impossible, the moment i study hard or try to get something into my head more than fifteen minutes, my lazy genes take over. and i can't believe yesterday when i told myself i will study hard and even got the whole plan for the day out studying, i just had to get tummyache even before when the glass planes start sliding for the day.

writing notes is harder then i thought, its like intensive summary work. and hand writing practise.

life's dull. i wonder if its going to be in continuation for the next few years or is it just a coincidence. last year last month, was seriously a big shock and a scare, okay a BIG scare... this year i suppose the big shock came already, but it wasn't a scare really. just somewhat very shocking.

i came to realize my blog entries are always written in a few hours to or already past by a few minutes of a new day. which just means, my insomia is taking over. later i'm going to take three pills i think, one more isn't going to send me into a comatose. i've tried before, it just got me late for school the next day. i wonder if i feel like sleeping the whole day, how many do i take, maybe i should experiment how many hours i get to sleep on one pill. haha. i'm quite a sadist. but is considered a minor when placed beside reuben the devil. really feel like having lunch with him, i mean who knows when he be back in sing again, he and his glasglow. he really brings back memories. wonderful ones.

i wonder if the air-conditioner i am using releases CFC? those things about the ozone layer really gets me listening, unlike some weird topics i have to study. i shalt not name, in wary of unknown strangers who read my blog.

oh and recently,there's this imbecile who keeps prank calling me. hello, that person might have considered using different phones each time, but no that not-so-smart prankster uses the same number everytime, safetly stored in my caller id system. hahahaha. i swear if it wasn't because i have a super strong feeling its people from my primary school, that number would have already been under investigation by the police, and i can come up with reasons to sue that dumbo.

so many happenings in a few days, with the added pressure of prelims, its a miracle i could pass through it all alive.....

2007-09-01T05:19:00.000-07:00

its un-ber-li-ber-ble! (unbelievable)
quoted by Kotoko in Itazura na Kiss Ep 6.

My Internet is working! Gosh i can't believe it. Haiz, whenever i come home and walk pass the computer room, my heart will just sink. its like taking chocolate away from flea. that serious. well if you actually know flea. the last three days was so packed with happenings so much i couldn't control and take my time to think about it. as it is, i am a very slow person.

on thursday, it was just any full-fledged boring school day, with the constant reminder of how close i am to dying in studies, a failure to the society. after that, i didn't stay on for the night study with the usual group. the plan was to acc flea to get her friend's present in JEC, then we'll head home and i'll sleep without pills this time, according to huishan and daph. well, supposingly it was a rather nice day to try and sleep in, with the torrential rain. but it ended up me watching ratatouille with flea and ks. all thanks to flea not being able to resist the temptation of the show. she went broke that day too. went home around seven plus eight, with a great show still fresh in mind.

on friday, it was supposed to be half day, but ended at twelve plus. what do you say. after the 1.6km walk that eric forced me to go, we came back and the upper sec was supposed to stone in class for an hour.we were notified that eric wanted to see the whole class at 10:30am. so quitting the quarrel over the scrabble word game i was playing with elaine and daph in the library, we ran up 5 storeys. only to find the only thing he wanted to do was to collect travel declaration forms. ¬.¬ oh and get mister (doctor) foo's specially ordered apples. its was quite sweet, both the motive and the apple. but we managed to take the lift down with eric. i won't say class party was fantastic, anyway its was just a mtd by council to settle the overcrowding prob in the hall. other than in the parade square for morning assembly, i can't think of anytime where the entire school got together. but in the end, me and flea sneaked into the hall to watch the performance. well, not entirely sneaked since the doors were open for ex-seniors, and we are, just without the ex. we went in and cught four segments of the performance. those wich got me high was the video by 3/8 and the beat box performance by jhan, elias and others. ( i can't believe i said i knew how to do silent beat-boxing in front of two masters!!!) the video that was done by 3/8 was terrific. the title is A WORLD WITHOUT TEACHERS adapted from Giordano, A World Without Strangers. haha. the lead was huiyun, my new choir chair and my new secretary was the director aka actor. haha and gwen was SOOOO cute. the part i like best is when they show what happend when there isn't disciplinary teachers, betty and the other girl were real good actors. acting like female gangsters. the hairdo were funny too. next, the beat box, its seriously got the whole school awed. they were so so so so so good. i can't believe and no words cant express. they sounded machines specially programmed for music.

just when i left my secondary sch and headed off to my primary school with a high note, i didn't expect my visit back to my primary school to be even better. the shock was zls. he spiked his hair! after somewhat 32 years of his life, finally! oh for ppl who dunno zls , he's like eric, but a chinese teacher. and WAS not vain. his students just seemed to multiply over the years, so much that he had to open up a classroom just to talk to his students in a peaceful and quiet environment. haha, that was when it sort of ended up to a whole bunch of ppl in a big circle playing games (me, huiyu, may, kaiting, victor, alan, alvin, kenneth, jingyu, zhenrui and gideon) shld be that. i forgot if valerie was in. den we started off with heart attack, it proved to live up to its name, as after to rounds, my adrenline was rushing and i got so high, due to the fact that the crads were so fast and when someone shouted "HEART ATTACK!", twenty over hands just piled up in an instant, regardless of the poor cards flying all over. it was the first time i played such a big scale heart attack game! after that we went on to play the winking style of murderer. but it was like hello, i couldn't wink, it just seems like i'm blinking. and when i was the murderer, the victims didn't even know i was killing them! so much for not being able to wink..... the game went on and there were times where almost evryone got killed the killer is still unknown. after a series of events, we then played murderer in another form called polar bear, in palm gardens. it was positively interesting. i even got picked polar bear 2 or 3 times, though i wonder why there were discrepencies on how the polar bear was being picked. two hard pats on the shoulder or a mini touch on the tip of your head. haha, but its doesn't matter. the game was so funny.. in the last few times we were playing, the 'spirits' actually got restless and started kicking football arnd us. haha. the whole thing ended when alvin went off to play LAN. but surprisingly, me huiyu and may met almost the whole lot again in lot one food court. and we sat down for more gossip. eventually the lot went for ratatouille, sth i didn't join simply because i watched it the day before. we took jingyu's football and talked in the library, or rather huiyu and may about their common topic, np. while i sat quietly besides them and finished 6-8 children books. amusing. XD. children books really don't teach you about the correct values. the lot came out from the movie and we went home. returing jingyu's ball of course.

the point is, people whom i never really interacted in the old days, i interacted so much yesterday. the nostalgic feeling overwhelmed me, forcing me to dig out feelings tucked in safely in the corners of my heart. it should be a good thing, it is. isn't it?

till today, i went for Charity Fiesta by NUS and NYAA together with flea and ruth. i was in grp 13. and my trainee was jin yin. she's 24. but when she wrote her name for me in my notebook, i dunno why, i felt so touched. she comes up to my shoulders only, wearing shoes of sizes that can only be found in kiddy palaces. her appearance is the kind people would avoid, just becuase she is so innocent, people wary, of the trouble they might bring. xuewei and me had a little talk with the long term volunteer in charge of bringing the trainees from jurong garden school. i learnt that their appearances and mentality weren't originally like that, its was due to chemical changes in the body resulting in the long term regret. most of them have a undiscovered sad story behind their backs. they lead such innocent yet lonely lives. if you don't doubt a 5 year old kid, then you shouldn't doubt them. their mentalities often stops at the age when they are diagnosed with the illness. some were resigned to the fate even when they were in the womb, it takes them years to understand bit by bit. yet, few understands them, making them very lonely. the chemicals in their body also causes them to be unable to express their feelings in a way we understand, and they end up as tantrums as we would call it. looking at the intelluctually disabled people of age far older than us being happily statisfied by just being able to bask under the sun, play ball games, overcome simplistic playground obstacles with their friends makes me feel old. i even wonder if they are actually the lucky batch who got their wish to stay as a child forever,when i am nearing the gates of adulthood, of troubles, of responsibility.

i felt like a lot has happened, really a lot...

2007-08-09T17:51:00.000-07:00

it was NATIONAL DAY yesterday..... in sequence: internal affairs (council version), the cat and me, weirdo trio and the three couples of the day! me hs, fluff flea, nickenna/ennick... by the courtesy of yaozhong...=]

we met up at Bt Batok for bowling...shan flea sian and slowmo oh, and benjamin too. haha den we just started bowling. we had two games, at first it was really better den i thought i was so so so happy, but well in the end i slacked and argh the grades weren't good. but still two games with a score over hundred really brights up my day. and my addiction to it. and after that they wantd to play pool..... oh wow, and i couldn't play... i mean i really wanted to. but no choice.. so i hanged out with benjamin at the west mall arcade...haha... playing those two player games with him was so fun. the reaction on his face when he won/lost was just hilarious. den he went on to play a couple of games situated at corners of the arcade which i will never be seen at. and suprisingly, i didn't play para-para yesterday, quite a remarkable feat when i am in a arcade. den when he had spent more than 5 bucks he stopped. because he realised if he went any further, he will get it big time. haha, so we left the place of temptations and went to buy drinks. i supposed west mall doesn't really appeal because after buying the drinks, there wasn't a single shop i wanted to step in. they are all so common. i would just probably go to bookstores comics connection or the cinema and the video shop if i am ever there. finding me in a shop alone shopping for clothes will be as easy as finding a blue moon at night. oh and den finally the pool gang came over, but now benjamin couldn't go cause his mum didn't allow. it so just the five left. flea was elated man. albeit we had to accompany flea home to deliver dinner, we stills prt of made it on time. took a bus there. the whole day just flowed through and it was 4-5+ den, my eyelids were drooping and stuff, but i just couldn't, i partly believe it to be the fault of sian and flea talking excessively and with a very high amplitude. huishan was just quiet at the corner. den we reached, i supposed. since i was just following them around, if they weren't there. it would be like "i'm lost, .... again." and so we went on to find nickenna/ennick. haha, we we began our open trail of teases again. we originally only wanted to see the fireworks, be happy and den go home. but den sian eventually found the spot where they had put those big screen up for people to view, the mass of red on the grass i believe to be twice the size a football court and even more. we found a spot and sent the guys to get cardboards. hmmm happily settled down, but i wasn't as high as expected. the crowd also wasn't the skin-to-skin kind of crowd, so i was it did not stimulate me that much, but neverthelss, when the fireworks came.... i was so so so so high! haha, but i only filmed it, no pictures, so cannot post....

after the WHOLE thing ended, we walked around and around often going back to the same place where we started off. sigh, at first i was okay, still feeling active, but as the time passes, i became more and more hungry, passing by food stores, with delicious smells into my nose , yet it was ALL packed.... couldn't believe it. haha and hs keep wanting to pee, and keeps reciting, " jing cha shu shu, wo yao shang ce suo, ni kai che zai wo qu ke yi ma....." haha and arnd the city hall mrt near cafe cartel.... there were a lot of army guys packing stuff up and me and huishan eventually mustered up the courage to say bye bye to the last army guy, and he just smiled.... haha felt so good... and we went around and aroundlooking for things to eat and nick's shoe sole even came out...haha. sofunny. it was really practically leaving a shoeprint behind...eventually settled on new zealand's natural ice-cream.... it felt like the best thing ever man..... den we went home happily... haha.

2007-08-04T01:21:00.000-07:00

ah ha ha ha ha.
i am mid-way into watching...

--Delightful Girl Choon Hyang
--Hana Kimi (Japanese version)

it is so funny. but i shall only provide my full views on them after i have finished. mainly due to the fact that, i realized there are actually humans who actually read my blog.

okay, i shal provide one detail now, for females who are so desperate that even a picture of a 'hottie' will make you high.... watch hana kimi japanese version.... serious hottie red alarm...

but well, life is never so fair. hmmm recently, i do feel a tweeny bit better. but still, from that long awaited day, its far. cherishing the day when it will happen seems to take up more what i could possibly offer and i really wonder the exisitance of such. it might be a compromise one.

i suppose it has taken away a lot of things from me, and i always wonder what would it be if all this did not happen, would i or could i have already been through much more or will i be even more naive. at the age of 16, it feels like i have suddenly grown up much, when i thought last december was the limit. more things and events and happeneings seemed to come, no, gushing towards me. i wonder will the rest of my life be in such a fashion or will the tide, tide over, this fall.

2007-07-31T05:16:00.000-07:00

to the non-existant readers out there, hello.

these few days has just been as normal, that is if you based it on a normal homework-laden stressed student trying to pass her O levels...

talking about O's, it really holds no meaning to me. its not that i desperately want to graduate from this school and leave my beloved council and dear choir which i am still not really very assured that they will be able to self-run.

i am putting that effort so that i can get into the good enough JC, probably NJ, or Ngee Ann which will lead me to my course that i want to study in Uni, which probably send me to overseas for attachment. ha i want to go europe. very much. i can just even study there.

okay, so it all boils down to the notion that i desperately want to leave Sinagpore, have a chance to live in a four-season country, i suppose it would do my skin condition better. too. according to the Mr.Thomas's theory.

sighs.

2007-07-27T10:36:00.000-07:00

its 1:36am of 28/07/07.
i am typing my blog entry in the middle of the morning.
i'm always doing this.
i must be demented.
and its always after a mad rush of homework.

the details of the ending of the seventh book of JK Rowling keeps buzzing around my ear, and i sort of know the ending now.
not like i want to know. but everybody just keeps freaking discusses openly about it.

not suprisingly, flea figured out something was wrong with me on thurs.

recently, new thoughts have been arising in my mind. new perceptions. new feelings. the same-old helplessness.

life is filled with imperfections; mine is full of holes and not a perfect rounded one with no edges. everytime i meet a hole, i will be reminded of the other holes that i have once crossed paths with. yet, after the common routine, i will realize that there are still paths for me to walk to cross, even if i have to take the long way around the hole. the feeling of de-javu, de-javus. yet, it is only a sphere, and i feel i only made that great an effort to come back to the same point. what great achievements i have made, do not ask of me, for i have nothing to contribute and be proud about.

2007-07-24T04:17:00.000-07:00

hmph! today ng en na said i siao, everyday blog.
there i proved you wrong.
haha.
anyway, its like once school started for the week again, i'm busy again, or rather no time to blog, but there's not much to blog about school life, its a repetative routine everyday.

i should not digress about it.

hmmm, let's see, there is something different today.
me felice and her friends and ah mo signed up for volunteer work with MINDS.
so interesting, i've liked it ever since last year's ACID camp that i joined, though i forgot my trainee's name, but she was so good natured. or at least i haven't seen the bad side of her yet. so i believe in the event that i signed up with MINDS, i would be prepared mentally, and already be eqiupped with the basic knowledge of how to interact with them. so yupps, i'm looking forward, that is if they decided to use me.

i would definately like part-time volunteerism, its quite very meaningful, and best if i actually get to go overseas to help build some house or basic facilities for them. its would be a good way to get to know the less fortunate out there. It gives me a feeling that i still have some use for the people on the world. It gives me a sense of self-importance i suppose, but still the main factor is to help the less fortunate.

Haha, ten years later, i would look back at realize that on the last few months of my important leave-school exams, i am still doing volunteering work. interesting.

2007-07-21T18:18:00.000-07:00

haha. i realized i always get the surnames of my friends wrong.
that's quite understandable though. i have the public-acclaimed bad memory.

oh and yesterday i had CIP and had to meet at the Jurong East MRT Station, the supposed meeting time was eight, as conveyed to us.(But it eventually became nine, and angered quite a number of us. me, or at least; i could have stayed at home longer reading my fanfic!)Anyway, i came out only at half past seven to avoid the frenzy but after that i saw that at the Jurong East Mac, 1/3 of the people were slurping on Macdonald's beverage and reading the book intently, even Daphne, but she provided a lot of unwanted commentary, which i really did not appreciate. I want to read the book only next year...i'm so broke till that sense. But seriously, it was quite a sight. Very interesting phenomenen. Then, for God knows what reason, we started mimicking Indian accent, and then we realized its Racial Harmony Day, then we shut up. And cause talking about curry will lead us to John, and miraculously we saw like 5 mins later. haha. at JEC. he was doing CIP too, but just the normal library one.
After we went ahead for our CIP, i began grumbling and said it was the last Flag Day i would do, and i am there because its COMPLUSORY!!! can't stand it, when i have to ask for donations, i feel like a beggar wanting for money. i rather slog and mop the floors of an elderly home or orphanage. The best kind of CIP would be like the ACID Camp we did for the Intellectually Disabled people during last year June, where we helped out in MINDS, during a 3 day 2 night camp. That was SOOO enriching.

But things can't be helped anyway.

oh and before i forget, please go forth to watch this youtube links. the videos are wonderful, you'll regret if you miss, i bet you have never ever seen this stuff before....
don't worry, i will never have the ability to achieve those, and its PG. arh remember to tag and tell me after you have watched those....

Sand Art

( The Animal Planet )
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvFBcUb9mZ0
(Let's Get Together)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2pLHLOnG6I&mode=related&search=
(Dato and Ilana Yahav)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtaF58KPaSg&mode=related&search=

Adobe Photoshop Magic

(Dove)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4vFvLhNWfZU

Incredulous Magic Tricks.

(Barry and Stuart)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Yw7oX5CXhk&mode=related&search=
(Extremely Funny)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuMMfgWhm3g&mode=related&search=

proudly brought to you by THE SHOE....and oh credits to my sister who showed me all this...

2007-07-20T14:33:00.000-07:00

You are The
Moon

Hope, expectation, Bright
promises.

The Moon is a card of magic and
mystery - when prominent you know that nothing is as it seems,
particularly when it concerns relationships. All logic is thrown out the
window.

The Moon is all about visions and illusions, madness, genius and poetry. This is a card that has to do with sleep, and so with both dreams and nightmares. It is a scary card in that it warns that there might be hidden enemies, tricks and falsehoods. But it should also be remembered that this is a card of great creativity, of powerful magic, primal feelings and intuition. You may be going through a time of emotional and mental trial; if you have any past mental problems, you must be vigilant in taking your medication but avoid drugs or alcohol, as abuse of either will cause them irreparable damage. This time however, can also result in great creativity, psychic powers, visions and insight. You can and should trust your intuition.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

oh wow, i'm mental.

2007-07-20T12:55:00.000-07:00

oh wow, just what. its one minute to four and i'm typing this. mind you, i mean AM.
so the story goes like that, just around fifteen minutes ago (or so), i woke up and decided not to sleep since i have cip in like 4 hours and the MUCH-AWAITED the seventh book is going to come out in 3 hours. i'm just waiting to see the world go mad, people screaming (gibberish) after finshing the book in turbo speed right outside of the bookstore, and people who got injured due to the trampling. if people can do that just to get a $23 designer recycle bag, what more? but well, i shall report back to the SHOE channel in 12 hours time. thanks to cip and the chem remedial which i will pon with a probability of 999/1000.

oh ya, today me and elaine discovered a new way, to see that the world still refuses to recognise females as pari. This is because males is greeted with Mister, for life (regardless of his freaking age and maritial status!), while females, when you are married, you will never be Miss again, or when you grow old, nobody will want to call you Miss. You will just be Madam or Mrs. I'll start to get chim. See how this issue actually can be imparentato to the olden times of England. In the past, the males of the society were the ones running the economy, and women in general sense were not supposed to lavoro and be pari to men, and could not do their jobs. Yet, the only kind of jobs given to women were odd jobs. Well, the place where you'll see high density of women on the strada would be in fare spese for clothing,accesories and etc. and balls too. period. How the olden ego in men has now colpire a language! how meraviglioso.

haha, that was such a wonderful paragraph. go look up the dictionary. if you must. =D

goodbye, i am off to watch my movie, late-night movie if you want to call it.

2007-07-19T02:19:00.000-07:00

its the third and unlucky day. basically, it was horrendous.
not because what whatever happened in class (that's just kids play; some stupid dare. it was downright obvious!), it was the things that happened after i left school.
i was so frustrated to tears. but whatever, i don't want to remember.

i was quite pitiful today, cause i didn't bring my entire wallet, consisting of my ez-link card and all the money. thanks goodness i need not go to Novena today,and i just needed a mere $0.60 to get home, of which i borrowed from elaine at the last minute. this i what happens when i don't sleep the whole night, i will be late and forget to bring something.

today went through the english vocabulary worksheet and according Kali, it was A level standard. oh well, it makes no difference. not that i am proud, but hello, the worksheet actually showed how they used the word in a passage and people who couldn't at least grasp the meaning after that are just plain ... low in IQ.

My recent routine is to use the internet and the computer during the late afternoons and i'll spend the whole night, including the next day's morning to do work, because it is cooler and everything is asleep. So no disturbence. haha. =D but they sure have serious after effects, as understood above.

oh and my comment on the recent movie Harry Potter and The Order Of The Phoenix, it is getting its high box office rating just because it sucks, and miraculously, now people are streaming in to see how the movie sucks.. Interesting. Really.

Now, i rather the book.

2007-07-18T05:22:00.000-07:00

i have been thinking... i really should get used to the idea of blogging.
it's like a thousand things come to my mind at weirdest moments.
be it like on the train or when i am walking or doing something serious,
and when i finally have the time to blog, i just forgets them.
but whatever, i do remember some....

i LOVE black rings!
serious.
its like i do not mind if people start to give me black rings....
but i stress upon you that its must be pure black and is waterproof, well the design must be meticulous... and not just a piece of back metal around my finger... it'll just look bad.

today i had gelato from Geladiso again.... pink guava seriously was not platable, but not as diasterous as the mango flavour... so i have promised myself never to try the fruity flavours again.... after i conquer Geladiso, i am going to start on Yumi Yogurt... since its just next door and there is an outlet at Lot 1. haha.

actually i wonder if this blog is going to survive, but since it was made after a great effort... i shall treasure it as much as i can...

but oh well, its only the second day.... i shan't ponder too deep into it....

did i mention? i love the show... Muo Fan Bang Bang Tang too!!! especially its class moniter!

hmmm that should be all... er i am back to my show... byebye! =D

2007-07-17T04:59:00.000-07:00

see? i told you. and worst its only 5 mins.

okay, the thing is, i actually forgot to thank the person who helped me create my blog.... everything about it. its VALERIE from choir... *applause!!!!* haha
and not forgetting lionheart, the creator of this blogskin, but its highly unlikey he'll read this entry but thanks anyway....

hmmm, dear valerie, if you are reading this now, please be noted that you will be receiving something from me... haha

my FIRST

2007-07-17T04:40:00.000-07:00

lol my FIRST entry on my SECOND blog ever.
interesting.

well, basically there is nothing much.
i am still trying to convince myself that the O's is here
but stilll....

i guess that's me
it takes me forever to get the facts in and deep

oh, and recently my new fetish is that whenever i happened to be at Novena
i will buy a cup of gelato from Geladiso, each time a different flavour
(provided i have the finiancial ability that very day)
hmmm, the best till now is rum and raisins and ciocolato (though it carries a bitter taste)

so ya, that's all for now... you might see me blog again in like a few hours/minutes (ignore line if you see a new entry above)

THE almightly shoe

Birkenstocks

my painful farewell....

You are The Moon

my FIRST

You are The
Moon